LED dress

LED dress
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

i sewed my first dress then proceeded to afix LEDs (only 128 this time) and electronics to it. we video'd it around midnight on monday down by the marina. my body is ready for daylight savings time, or at least an extra hour.

there are still technical issues to work out as i wait on additional chips for making the LEDs brighter and programming issues, but i reached a milestone. it lights up. it animates. it's battery powered. it responds somewhat to my movements. i'm still getting over shyness at being filmed. i'm exploring the female body and light. that's all for now.

long beach museum of art

long beach museum of art
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

#65 of 101 in 1001
don't take your local art museum for granted. one day, it could be too late, and they could be gone. financial times have made it difficult all around to make ends meet. it was not too long after my first visit to the long beach museum recently that i found out they are in danger due to financial woes.

the show i went to featured artists taking book arts to large sculptural forms, and it along with all access to the museum is free on fridays. i can't believe i never took advantage of this before. it's such a good deal. i hope enough people visit the museum and take advantage of all they have to offer, including free video screenings related to concurrent exhibitions on fridays.

play me

play me
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

my piece in the show at lbcc

play me

documentation
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

this is what i've been up to lately. there's sound, hair and white nipple like things. it'll be at lbcc gallery for a month.

franz west, lacma, machine forest

franz west, lacma, machine forest
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

last weekend, i renewed my membership at LACMA and went to see the franz west exhibit. i didn't care for everything that was in the show, but i thought the adaptives and some of the larger painted plastered papier mache'd pieces were interesting. i like it when you can interact with the work.

we also stopped briefly at machine to check out the forest which was installed in the gallery. pretty cool. wish i had a room that was a forest.

Skin Deep Show @ BC Space Gallery

Skin Deep Show @ BC Space Gallery
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

the last few weeks have been madness, preparing for the show, so i was relieved when it finally came and went. even up to the last minute, i was feeling fussy over the LED installation. i had to fight against my compulsion to fix misaligned LEDs. the turnout was pretty good, and i received a lot of positive feedback about the work. happy my friends came out and enjoyed the show.

mark is working at getting more people out to see the show while it's up, and i went by again on sunday to document the work. unfortunately adding to my stress is a new problem with the motor in one of the pieces--handle with care. i think the motion detector was overly sensitive, which made for some interesting kinetics the night of the show, but it ended up being too much, and the axis broke. had to order some things, and hopefully, will fix in the next few days. in the mean time, i'm starting on a new piece--another one involving sound, touch and hair.

eureka!

installing the show at BC
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

#3 of 101 in 1001
two weeks ago, i was really worried that this may not work. well, it's up! yay. i am so lucky to have such an awesome boyfriend who spent the whole weekend helping me install my show. i feel so bad that he not only had to put up with my anxieties and feeling miserably sick during the install but he caught my cold and is now in bed.

funny how when i finish a project, it's not utter joy, but relief that i often feel--relief that i didn't set anything on fire and that the thing works. it's not perfect, but it is a lesson on how hard it is to obtain perfection. i still want to fix a few things. i'm already considering how i can make it better. unfortunately, this piece doesn't lend itself to being modified very easily. that's the problem with having something so well-defined at the start, and why i try to avoid that these days.

mike's rendering was hard to live up to. i'm not sure if it does. it's a whole different thing, but it is impressive to see it with the lights off in person. it's too bad my father couldn't see it.

problem solving

documentation
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

that's what i have been doing.

a swarm

documentation
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

my project has taken over the living room. soon there will be no where to walk. what do 12,000 odd leds look like?

hyperbolic crochet @ track 16 gallery

hyperbolic crochet @ track 16 gallery
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

last saturday, we checked out the hyperbolic crochet reef show at track 16 gallery on it's last weekend before heading to surfas for a demo. i enjoyed looking at all the abstract and not so abstract forms representative of the life in the barrier reefs in danger of destruction from the negative impacts of global warming. it made me miss the needlework i've been too busy to partake in.

Seduction of a Blossom

Seduction of a Blossom
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

a couple weeks ago, i attended a talk given by artist alexis weidig at long beach city college as a part of the show seduction of a blossom. her piece in the gallery is influenced by her albanian greek heritage, and it was interesting to see slides and hear about it.

click here to check out more of her work.

sewing machine magic

coleen's sculpture class
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

when i think of sewing machines, i hear the percussive rhythm of the machine and long for the satisfaction that comes with meditative and quiet activity. for my recent piece, i took apart a vintage sewing machine--one of those all cast iron mechanical machines that weighs 40 lbs--and made an interactive kinetic sculpture that would capture my feelings about sewing and sewing machines among other things. This piece will become a small installation at BC Space Gallery that will open in a couple weeks.

check out the video:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bluepupae/3311145508/in/set-72157614454796806/

sound sculpture

sound sculpture
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

i haven't been knitting, but i have been crocheting...with wire. the crocheting is cool, but the coated wire is hard on the hands. these will become interactive sound pieces. of course, the one made from expensive fine stainless steel & wool yarn is the loveliest & less taxing on the hands & most expensive. actually, getting the amount of wire i need is expensive. the next project will have to be more cost effective.

machine project @ lacma

machine project @ lacma
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

#11 on my 101 in 1001 list (3/32)
yesterday, machine project took over LACMA with installations, workshops and performances. i weathered the post-apocalyptic air from regional fires and lost myself in the whole experience, and though i spent most of the day there and still didn't see everything, i did discover parts of the museum i'd never been to, explored a familiar process (crochet) in a new way, and experienced the museum in a new way. in contrast to the usual quiet museum experience, the many people that attended added a feeling of controlled chaos as well as festive excitement to the event. there were lots of families with kids who could actually touch things inside the museum.

i started the visit learning to crochet a hyperbolic object using plastic bags as "yarn." crochet easily lends itself to three dimensional surface and materials experimentation. already, i'm thinking about making something on a bigger scale or in other materials. the two women who were orchestrating the class are working on a huge coral reef project made up of crocheted pieces.

after a few hours crocheting, i wandered around the museum, which is really quite large, now that they have the bcam. i've never even been inside some of the buildings. most of the time, my visits are to specific shows that take place in some of the same buildings. i had no idea there was a huge tony smith sculpture in the ahmanson building--i didn't even know that was the name of the building.

one of the favorite things i saw was this interactive piece using the monome interface. it consisted of what looked like a keyboard of white buttons with internal lighting that would turn on and off as you pressed them and would activate the rhythmic tapping of metal mallets on fabricated ceramic vessels. it was mesmerizing to watch and listen. it would take too long to go into detail on everything, but there were plenty of amusing things, and while some were more interesting than others, i thought it was great to see an intervention/installation of this kind at a major museum.

fur in process

fur in process
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

#2 on my 101 in 1001 list
the installation of my cat fur sculpture in the display case at long beach city college made me realize how installing is half the work, and almost more difficult than the nearly mindless, meditative handwork that went into the piece. i still have more to do, but it's looking pretty good. another thing i've learned is that not all cat fur is created equal. some kinds are easier to work with, some felt better, and are more inclined towards certain shapes and manipulations. not sure what i will call it yet, but it furthers my investigation of time and process in art. one of the best things about this piece is that it's the cheapest art piece i have ever made, which is a consideration in these trying economic times.

fur fix

cat fur
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

i never thought i'd be so excited to see cat fur, but here is the latest installment from maxine66 on ravelry. thank goodness for kind knitters. it's quite lovely, and unlike the stuff i've been collecting around the house sans cat litter. i haven't exhausted all my fur sources (still waiting on people to send me theirs), but am considering getting one of those special combs that removes the undercoat hairs. if i inadvertently make the cats bald, i guess that will be a good excuse to knit them a sweater! ha!

cat fur is an interesting material to work with, so i may continue this project after my nov 6 deadline. it'll depend on what i can collect from people without being too much of a pest.

fur in process

fur in process
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

so i found out today that the show that i will be in with a fellow artist--Richard Hutter-- at BC Space is being moved back to the first of next year, which is probably a good thing as i had submitted some work to a juried show in Torrance (keeping my fingers crossed), and the led project is still moving along at a snail's pace.

recently, i started a sculpture made from mostly cat & some dog fur. i may extend some of the parameters and start begging for rabbit fur as well. besides the strange looks and curiosity, i've received cat fur from various friends, and the cats at home are happy to be regularly combed, but am finding i need A LOT more. not quite ready to troll the animal shelters yet...thinking about it though.

unbearable lightness

documentation
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

the house is a wreck, and i haven't put away the chocolate or yarn that came into my possession this weekend, but i did document a piece i made this summer during a workshop. i made a total of five pieces, but the others didn't feel as finished as this one.

titles are almost as difficult to put together as the projects themselves. like the piece, a certain amount of ambiguity and intrigue yet some suggestion as to what the piece is about make for a good one. initially, i thought about calling this raw, but that seemed, well...raw and simple, so for now, it is unbearable lightness.

in search of (a title)

untouchable
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

the past month, and particularly, the past few weeks, i have been frantically working (is there any other way?) on this one piece consisting of a stack of plain white drawers, some with red interiors and other objects, like fingers, nipples and light. i'm quite proud that when i started, i only had a vague idea of how this thing was going to turn out, as i have a tendency to overly think and plan my projects.

knowing the deadline, i really tried not to overextend myself on making something that was too far beyond my technical knowledge as i have done in the past. of course, it wasn't without challenges, and there were a few. first, i wanted the top part of the piece to turn away when someone approaches and gets too close.

initially, i bought a cheap PIR sensor from radio shack to use for sensing motion which would trigger the motor that would turn the top portion of the sculpture. a few pieces of plastic material between the boxes provided a smooth surface between the box for the turning. mike found some programming code to translate the sensor activation to the motor turning using a simple arduino board.

by itself, the turning mechanism worked, but once i put it together, it did not work smoothly. the weight of the boxes was creating too much friction for the motor to turn. there were issues with the sensor which i had some reservations to begin with due to some idiosyncratic properties of the sensor. i forked out some bucks to change that one out for a sensor activated using ultrasound, and replaced the plastic material for a lazy susan which would better support the weight.

those two changes seem to have made the turning mechanism work, although not perfectly. the sensor has two pieces, one that sends out the ultrasound signal, and one that receives it. since there's only one hole for the drawer, i had to make a second one underneath. this hole is not very big because i didn't want to make it obvious, but limits the range. someone has to get pretty close to activate the turning. not sure how i feel about it yet.

one of the boxes consists of nine small drawers, and all but four are screwed shut. the four are partially open, and you can see cast wax fingers inside. if a person moves one of these drawers, a sound is emitted. the electronics in this was pretty straightforward, although in my addled state, i really had to work through the logic to make sure i was properly soldering the right connections.

in the second box from the top, one of the drawers is upside down, and has a lightbox image of my vagina. simple leds in parallel were used to light this. i may revisit and add more leds to increase the span of the light. because of the height it is set at, to see the image you have to kneel or bend and contort yourself.

i am so glad that i made this thing modular because i have to take it apart in order to get it into my car and transport it anywhere, which i've already had to do five times. i'm also glad i worked wheels into the design.

after some initial critique and feedback from friends, peers and instructors/mentors, i realize that there are two big things i need to work through still. the top box has drawers with clear plexi fronts. i wasn't sure if i should put something in them. i wanted to have drawers that you can see into, but not feel like you're seeing anything. i think i'm going to put something in there that has familiar qualities, but you can't tell what it is.

the biggest problem that i have to deal with though is that the piece is designed to be somewhat interactive and to a certain extent rests on that premise. sound is activated when you open some of the drawers. in the context of a museum or gallery, it's expected that you don't touch the work, so how do i convey that you can touch the work? at the same time, the piece is a bit fragile, and i don't want people to go overboard. in addition, some of the drawers are screwed shut. how will viewers discover this if they don't try?

not that i thought that this project was going to be easy, but i was moving at such a good momentum towards some finality, i figured it would be wrapped up considerably quickly. most of it is done, but this last thing is going to require me to put it aside and think some more about it. for now, it will have to exist imperfect. overall, i marvel at how well it turned out. i must have more faith in myself. as to what it's about...well, you'll have to experience it for yourself. it's a self-portrait.

fingers & nipples

art documentation
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

i had fun making temporary alginate molds of my fingers & nipples, then casting them in beeswax, which smells really good. they'll go into a project i'm currently working on.

overflowing

these early friday morning tennis sessions are turning me into a morning person. hopefully, a fitter one as well. so here i am saturday morning looking ahead to another filled weekend. in about half an hour or so, i'll be leaving for a taiwanese breakfast in san gabriel, which should be good.

last sat, we toured rubel castle and stuck around LA to check out a few galleries and museums, but this time, we've got laundry squeezed in between breakfast and today's chocolate tasting, which will be at compartes. surprisingly, not as many people were signed up, so i invited my brother, who'll be joining us for chocolate and possibly dinner.

tomorrow morning, i'm planning for another bike ride down the boardwalk on the beach, then to belmont shore and the marina to the farmer's market where we'll pick up a few things and come back. hoping my legs hold up, especially on the return trip with additional baggage. this past wednesday, i rode my bike to the knit night, which was at barnes and nobles. it was a good 4-5 miles, and most of it was fine, but the hump over the bridge on second street was a bitch. i was huffing and hawing but proud i made it without getting off the bike.

the rest of sun will be filled with me frantically putting together my latest art project and please oh please if there's a god, she'll help me get it to 95% completion. there are still a number of technical unknowns, like how i get the electronics for the turning to work, and how i get from opening or closing a drawer to sounds emitting from the boxes. wish me luck.

art is a luxury...

...to which the artist pays. --David Smith

glow santa monica

glow santa monica
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

in theory, this sounded like it would be a great idea, but i don't think the organizers or the city of santa monica anticipated the masses of people that would all be flocking to the event. i was really looking forward to experiencing art unlimited by the confounds of a museum environment--art that could activate and be activated by people and space. unfortunately, there were just too many people. the ratio of people to experiences was off and made for a very bad experience.

first, we spent at least half an hour trying to find parking. if this were in a city like san francisco, maybe it would be normal, but this is santa monica. people here don't really use public transit, so everyone was in cars all trying to get into the public lots. the numerous parking structures weren't enough. when we finally found a private parking structure that didn't charge an exorbitant fee, we were not told until we had driven in that they closed at midnight and we couldn't turn around. a total rip off.

it would have been nice if the different installations had the brief descriptions that were on the website, otherwise, it was really difficult to tell what was going on. much of the work was conceptual, and with conceptual work, i feel people could better appreciate the work if there is some information about it. it doesn't have to be a drawn out explanation. the one or two lines that were on the website would have been sufficient. otherwise, all you can go on is what you see, which wasn't a whole lot.

the beach wasn't too crowded compared to the pier, but the size of the installations compared to the spectators made it difficult to appreciate. i thought the water feature with the projected abstract imagery was interesting visually and a good size to be viewed from far away, which is what you'll be with that many people. everything else had too many people clustered around to see.

we tried to make our way to the pier, but the stairs were packed. when you squeeze people together like that, it doesn't make for a pleasant experience. not everyone is going to be considerate or apologetic when they ram their bike into you or scream in your ear at the top of their lungs. the pier was covered with people. mardi gras wasn't as packed as this. then it was time to move our car. we decided we couldn't take the hassle or the people so ended up leaving.

even though my experience was negative, i'm giving the event 3 stars because this was their first time, and i understand how difficult it could be to estimate turnout. i also think that cities should be more active in promoting art for the masses. it's so rare for cities to support art events on such a grand scale. it needs to be better thought out and planned for. if this had been over the course of a few days, maybe it wouldn't have been so crowded. they could charge admission to pay for the cost of better managing the parking situation. i'm glad that i made the trek, but disappointed the situation created made it nearly impossible to see and experience everything. i hope this fiasco (and the many forthcoming complaints) do not deter them from planning for future events like this but that they learn from this particular situation.

BCAM

BCAM
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

even though i've had a membership since BCAM opened, and wanted to go to the opening, we haven't had time to make it over there. luckily, the collection on view is there until september. when i drive to LA, i try to plan for multiple excursions to make efficient use of time and gas. we planned to be in LA this weekend for a birthday dinner and glow in santa monica, so stopped by the BCAM.

the Broads have made some great choices. unlike some collections that have a few one off pieces from different artists, this one had multiple contemporary and modern works for each artist. it was as if they chose particular artists to invest in/fund/collect. you have a better feel for an artists' work, when viewing several pieces. as a whole, it all worked well together, too.

permission to art

warning: materials in process
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

Sometimes I think creativity is magic; it's not a matter of finding an idea, but allowing the idea to find you. - Maya Lin

i haven't allowed myself the time to work on art much since returning from vacation. instead, i've been going about the business of daily life- chores, extra work to pay for vacation off. soon...i will be very sad if it doesn't happen soon.

5 haiku mashup

by dao nguyen

mashup: in music, a dj samples two or more songs to create a new song

flutter, fluid waste,
here, now, she needs a gallon
of india ink

old and melted sounds--long, slow,
silencio muy grande,
falling is like this

pool of unsung words
smells of summer, hot paper,
i found that on the ground

the transparent self
stories of my ancestors
rise, not fall from hands

blowing, sucking soul
becoming flesh, i taste bile,
feather falls from nest

.......................................................

this was written using words culled from questionnaires and process created by poet Andrew Sullivan which he originally used to write a poem for an exhibition for Robin Hill. fellow artists filled out questionnaires based on their responses to my own work. this poem is a collaboration between others' responses and my own appropriation/filtration/creation/thoughts about recently completed work exploring process and material using my snot-filled tissues as a primary material.

great advice

warning: materials in process
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, gasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning...searching, perching, besmirching, grinding grinding grinding away at yourself. stop it and just DO...trust and tickle somthing inside you, your "weird humor." you belong in the most secret part of you. don't worry about cool, make your own uncool...if you fear, make it work for you--draw and paint your fear and anxiety. and stop worrying about big, deep things such as "to decide on a purpose and way of life..." you must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. then you will be able to DO! i have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good. try and do some BAD work/ the worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let everything go to hell.

Sol LeWitt's advice to Eva Hesse in a letter. April 14, 1965

I saw an exhibit of LeWitt's work at the Austin Museum of Art. I find the mathematical and logical but arbitrary rules in his work interesting. though his work is not exactly moving, this letter is.

Bruce Mau Design : An Incomplete Manifesto for Growth

Here are a few items from Bruce Mau Design's Incomplete Manifesto for growth. You can find the complete list here. This applies to any creative endeavor.

1. Allow events to change you. You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them.

2. Forget about good. Good is a known quantity. Good is what we all agree on. Growth is not necessarily good. Growth is an exploration of unlit recesses that may or may not yield to our research. As long as you stick to good you'll never have real growth.

3. Process is more important than outcome. When the outcome drives the process we will only ever go to where we've already been. If process drives outcome we may not know where we’re going, but we will know we want to be there.

4. Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child). Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day.

5. Go deep. The deeper you go the more likely you will discover something of value.

6. Capture accidents. The wrong answer is the right answer in search of a different question. Collect wrong answers as part of the process. Ask different questions.

they're all pretty good, but i really like #2. it's difficult to hold back the judging mind--to refrain from applying value judgments to what is in front of you, but i do agree that in art and in life, being patient can lead to new insight.

houston museum of fine art

texas summer 08
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

fodder for art

fodder for art
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

for years i have suffered through allergies. every year, beginning as early as january and for 3-5 months, my nose runs and itches and is prone to sinus infections, my eyes water and itch and turn red, my face breaks out, i sneeze, can't breath, am miserable whilst going through countless tissues and have varying degrees of success doing the usual things.

i've tried a number of remedies, including benadryl which makes me way too sleepy and is only a last resort, claritin, allegra, homeopathic pills, bee pollen and local honey, none of which completely wipes out the allergy symptoms without wiping me out, and some do both. i've tried plugging my nose with tissue, but that is only temporary relief until it becomes snot-soaked or gets sent flying across the room by an explosive sneeze.

the thought of visiting rome strikes fear in my heart because the one time i was there, i had the worst allergy attack which ended up with me developing a sinus infection and bronchitis by the end of my vacation. i barely remember the coliseum through tears and medication. apparently, i'm allergic to antiquity or at least the dust that goes with it.

this year has not been so bad compared to others. i've lived in the same place for some time, and last year, which was worse, i ate a lot of bee pollen. i still have days though when i can't take it, and rather than attempt to be functional, i dose myself with benadryl and call it a day. so i've been thinking about doing the only thing i can, make some art out of it. i have to do something with the piles of snotty tissues. they would be better admired in a museum collection than a landfill, i think.

art center student graduation show

art center graduation show
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

i found this piece at the art center student graduation show to be amusing.

being and nothingness

no photo today because there's been little progress on my led project unless you want to see my pathetic face after picking up special flux & high-content silver solder from a welding supply shop in north long beach and still having no success in soldering braided stainless steel wire to the leds. i wonder if i have to torch the damn thing. %@#*&@(^!

it's times like this that i wonder why i don't stick to familiar territory. i know there's an answer. it's not frickin' rocket science after all.

problem solving

my led project has hit another snafu. after wire wrapping three columns (of the 72 column grid), i discovered that due to the uneven weight on the very thin wrapped kynar wire, some were breaking. i chose the thin wire to not detract from the light feel of the piece. each circuit board holds two leds and represents one "pixel" or "dot" of the overall image and connects to adjacent boards via two kynar wires. the problem is that it is extremely difficult to wrap the two such that the lengths are exactly the same. because of this, the weight is unevenly distributed, and as subsequent boards are added, more weight needs to be supported by a single wire.

i scrapped (for now) the idea of using the kynar wire in lieu of two continuous lengths of wire for each column, to which the boards would be soldered. this would get around the problem of a lot of weight on a single bit of wire. unfortunately, my new plan has not been working out as well as i had hoped and has been very frustrating especially since i have been working on this for so long and am anxious to finish it (i keep reminding myself it is the journey not the destination). i have tried braided stainless steel, galvanized steel and copper. the braided steel looked nice, but the solder would slip right off as if it were coated in oil. solid copper wire worked fine, but i want to use a wire that is flexible for storage and does not stand out from the rest of the piece. tinned copper seemed to be the way to go, but not available to the average consumer.

mike found some picture wire i had, made of stainless steel, and had some modicum of success soldering, so i ordered some to test, and that didn't work. this past week, i researched soldering stainless steel, which is apparently quite difficult to do. i tried increasing the temperature and even using a torch, sanding the wire, using acid-core solder, and separate flux. none of these methods has worked. i'm hoping maybe it's the flux, and am now trying to find some special flux for soldering stainless steel.

this is not boding well for me. i want to forge ahead and have hopes of finishing this in time for a show in the fall. one of the most interesting things i find about making art is the problem solving, but it can be very frustrating. i find myself attracted to challenges but often wonder if i'm a masochist...

last sunday, while feeling pissy and frustrated about making a jig wherein i had to hand drill evenly spaced pairs of holes into a length of plywood, and after considering buying a drill press, i did find a new, smaller and doable project. i am interested in the idea of perfection and recently found myself considering why i like making things that have the appearance of being machine made. what is this aspiration towards an ideal that in extremes can be detrimental to one's mental and physical health? i was thinking about the women in lauren greenberg's documentary on eating disorders and my own perfectionist tendencies. it can be absurd when you're on the outside looking in yet inescapable. as a nod to john baldassari and conceptual art, i am going make a piece about perfection. already, the thought of changing the context of an act in the art process will change the experience and meaning of the piece and provide some distraction while i figure out how to solder steel.

photo of my late father: progress

photo of my late father: progress
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

it's been a while since i moved beyond soldering, endless soldering on this project. i am about 2/3 the way through soldering leds, and wire wrapped one strand to check that outcome.

the low values are barely discernible in the light. i'll have to think some more on the lighting environment best suited for this.

emergence

that consciousness manifests from trillions of neurons that either fire or don't fire has intrigued me for some time now. in a previous life, i had dreams of becoming a neuroscientist. though i aspire to be an artist, the line between art & science grows ever narrower these days.

there is a word and a science for studying the way complex systems arise out of simple pieces of that make up the system--emergence. i first learned of the term from mike referring to how things in proximity have an influence on each other, but the idea is not new to me. women living together will synchronize their menstrual cycles. i've had two friends synchronize their cycles with mine--does that mean i have strong pheromones?

i am reading and finding interesting one of two books on the topic, Sync: How Order Emerges from Chaos in the Universe, Nature, and Daily Life. the other is Emergence: The Connected Lives of Ants, Brains, Cities, and Software. what do fireflies in asia, women's monthly cycles, cities, google and the human brain have in common? a lot apparently. already i am excitedly planning an interactive piece exploring this with mike. i'd like to start with a simulation that can take on a life of its own. aside from programming and other technical challenges, we have to figure out how to put together 1000 leds (at the minimum) that are individually programmable and not cost prohibitive. of course, we, like the scientists in the book, will start with "syncing" two. processing seems to be the perfect environment for preliminary tests.

but first, i must solder more leds for my my other project. since i have made little progress on the photograph of my father, i have decided to give myself a deadline of completing the soldering for all the resistors by the end of the month. that's some odd 12,000 resistors give or take a few. it doesn't seem completely unreasonable, but i calculated that i would need to solder about 480 a day to reach that goal. one must have loft goals.

oh, and there is an excellent podcast from august of a radio lab show from WNYC on emergence.

a nice dilemma & other reflections

Body of Evidence I
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

granted, i make what i deem to be "progress" in adding to and improving upon my body of work every year, yet i am extremely disappointed in myself that another year passes, and i am not ready to apply for grad school, which i feel a strong need for. this has been true for years now. i can't remember who, because i've bemoaned this to a number of people, but someone, maybe it was jerry, told me, "you never feel ready, to apply to grad school."

mike thinks i should just do it, and he will be even more annoyed that i don't even try this year. i only have three worthwhile completed pieces for my portfolio (i think). the other few that are in progress are substantial, and i'm excited about them and about finishing them, but they only exist as renderings in my portfolio and a sizable pile of leds on the work table. this is why i don't feel ready. actually, i have many ideas for many projects, but none of those count, because they are only patterns of neurons firing in my noggin' and a few sketches at this point.

well, to prove that i'm not a total neurotic pessimist, i do have great news. my body of evidence i piece is in a show in st. charles, missouri at the foundry art centre, and apparently, i received the solo award for it. what a wonderful surprise. i almost didn't even bother submitting to the show because i was kind of busy and not feeling very positive about the piece after a couple of rejections. so glad mike encouraged me to do it, and i listened to him.

i get to decide whether to accept award money, which i desperately need, or a solo show at the gallery some time in 2010, which is a ways off. difficult decision. the money would be great to put back into new work and pay off expenses for past projects. unlike most careers, being an artist means you spend time and money making things for some indeterminate time in hopes that one day, enough people will buy your work so you can continue to make more work and not starve or give up.

i am not all about the money either. an opportunity to have a solo show is rare. i've only had a few pieces in juried shows. how long does an artist peddle her wares before someone with a prominent venue allows her space to show not just one piece but a body of work to a large audience of people, some of whom may find some connection to the work? i haven't yet made up my mind, but i am enjoying that this is the difficult choice i am thinking about and basking in the glow of recognition and reassurance that i'm not just doing this for me.

nov 30, day 2 - moveable type

nov 30, day 2
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

this installation, created by mark hansen & ben rubin, constantly changes, culling and repurposing content from the databases of the new york times. more info here. more photos taken by me here.

i'm in!

after a somewhat frustrating day debugging cross-browser issues yet again, then dealing with paying for overpriced services from incompetent people at the dry cleaner's, and having difficulty squeezing into a parking spot out front because some idiot couldn't pull forward a foot so there would be room for 2 cars instead of his/her one (there really is no excuse since there is clearly 3 feet between the front of the car and the driveway), i found out that a show i had entered and forgot about has accepted my piece into their group show "Internal Illuminations."

it's retarded, but i was starting to wonder if my Body of Evidence piece was crap as i've been getting little love for it. i feel i've long moved on from it mentally, but with the way things cycle out, i have to keep working at showing pieces that i may not be excited about. not much time has to pass after completing a piece before the excitement wanes.

the timing is a little tight with my travel plans. i realized two shows ago that the original connectors are loose and come apart easily, so i need to replace them, figure out how to safely package and ship it. this whole business of promoting and getting your work seen is a job in itself.

starting is the hardest

i've been ruminating on a piece i want to make about my personal family history that incorporates knitting, systems of expression and the process of connecting with my family that i will go through in order to complete this piece. the piece i am making will be a family tree constructed from the names of my family members translated from roman characters to ascii numbers to binary to knit & purl stitches. my interest in identity has moved beyond the physical to more specific cultural and personal experiences.

i made the first steps this weekend as i sat with my mother and my uncle and later my grandmother to begin to piece together the names of my ancestors. i've realized that there is more information than just names, including gender, simple facts such as deceased or not, and complex relationships such as that my grandmother's brother married my grandfather's sister. i'll need to figure out how far back i want to go, and how much i want to include or not include. i'm very excited to begin this.

...in other beginnings, i have moved into the next phase of the large led piece of my father by soldering resistors. the nature of the process makes this part go much more slowly than the led soldering. there was also a pause and procrastination, typical of when i start something new or move onto a new phase of a project as i am cautious.

the uncertainty and conservatism makes me feel nothing like an artist. there's this view that artists are daring and bold, and that the mark of creativity is venturing where others do not. i think it is partly misinformed by a perception that someone is born an artist with talent and not realizing that a body of work is a thing cultivated over time. there are moments when i feel a certain confidence and clarity in what i am doing, but there are also times i feel doubt. so starting is hard, but once i'm in it, the momentum carries me.

...of note, i found a company that will break down and analyze a person's dna for $1000. what does this mean? nothing yet--aside from that it is prohibitively expensive, i'm not sure what i would do with the information. i am extremely curious to see the genomic breakdown of my dna compared to my mother's and my grandmother's.

articulating

a request for a bio/artist statement for the 2007 National Open upcoming show at Long Beach Arts, where one of my pieces is installed, led to a long overdue revisit of my writing. since my portfolio review in san francisco, i have been mulling over in my head what my work is about, how i talk about it, what i want my work to be about or what direction i want it to go. it's really been a big soupy mess that i've come back to here and there, but mostly avoided--my usual response to problems--sitting down to sort out.

the revisit this morning helped to somewhat clarify or at least better articulate certain things. others are yet to be decided. i hate to make any decisions about the specific direction of my work as i feel they might be limiting, but at the same time, it's what i need--parameters that is--somewhat arbitrary rules to coral my wandering interests du jour.

mike's advice to me has been to not overload individual projects with too many overblown ideas, but to keep them simple and direct. it is definitely challenging balancing the desire to layer one's work so it is intriguing with not creating a confusing muck and losing the message.

i whittled my artist statement to one very general paragraph and the project statement to be less physically & technically descriptive and more about the work. writing about one's work is tough. i used to think that one of the reasons i make art has to do with my inability to articulate in words the mess in my head, but now i think it's an exercise in organizing, reorganizing and revisualizing it. the writing seems to help it not be a literal brain dump.

photo of my late father progress

photo of my late father
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

i am half way through soldering, and still have a ways before i'm even halfway done with the project as a whole. i've been thinking about it some more, and want to add some elements that will make it more clear that it is about reverence and the vietnamese custom of honoring dead ancestors. not sure if it will take the form of a large matt in front of the piece that you have to take your shoes off to enter or pillows in front or the sounds of a wood knocker faint in the background.

amy visits for a day

amy visits for a day
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

feeling more like saturday than black sunday, yesterday indulged my favorite fancies, not even sparing the extra hour for rest, and included a fiber festival, murakami at the moca, the santa monica beach at night and a lovely dinner with mike and his sister amy.

weaving & spinning fiber festival in torrance
the hurried exploration of festival goodness rationed my usually ridiculous consumption of all things fiber. i say ridiculous because i bought more roving when i haven't done that much spinning nor do i have the time to, but the touching and the looking enticed me. photos coming soon.

murakami at the moca
if you are interested in japanese buddhist iconography or pop culture through the brightly tinted lens and subversive cuteness of big-eyed cartoon characters with sharp teeth, you cannot miss the murakami exhibit. in spite of the crowded insanity of the opening weekend, i really enjoyed the show. although i have seen murakami's work in the context of group shows, i have not had the opportunity to reflect on and appreciate the references and the humor.

i liked the huge gotee'd buddha with one serene and one mad pointy teeth baring face sitting on a flattened elephant sculpture made of titanium and the room wall-papered with silk-screened faced flowers with flower paintings sometimes appearing to recede and sometimes appearing to bulge out of the walls. i thought the cutesy mushrooms with big eyes were sinister in the context of the mushroom cloud of the atomic bomb. confused and disturbed was i to all of a sudden walk into a louis vuitton store selling bags with murakami-ized LV logos.

santa monica beach
we missed the sunset, but could still see a spectrum of colors in the sky over the ocean horizon and glow of the amusement park rides on the pier. only mildly chilly, we walked the long expanse of sand to smell the sea.

ammo
still a favorite even after a long time away, ammo did not disappoint. we started by sharing a market beet and avocado salad. my dish of spaghetti with bitter greens and proscuitto was simple yet delicious and light. mike had the farotto with beets in a pomegranate reduction which had complex sweet, salty and tangy flavors. amy loved her slightly sweet lasagna filled with grilled shitakes and fresh vegetables. we ended with a rustic apple tart with mascarpone and sundae with trio of coffee, chocolate & vanilla ice cream blanketed with caramel and chocolate sauces and sweet graham(?) chunks.

mike's quick rush to get a replacement air mattress from target (cats punctured the previous one) resulted in one twice the thickness. it looked so good, i was wanting to sleep on it myself.

...

a victim of the time change, i left work an hour early because i was following the computer clock, not realizing it had not been updated. doh! well, at least i had more time to catch up on some sewing in class where i made good progress on the pajama pants.

photo of my late father progress

progress
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

1500 boards with leds soldered and counting. 11,000+ to go...

ocma: a little art history

ocma
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

the museum is providing various art history lectures in their education center the last thurs of each month through june. i found out about it while looking up the helvetica screening (which was a disaster because of the damaged dvd that went berserk about 30 min into the movie). i decided to check out this evening's lecture on the european avant-garde art movements.

on a rare occasion, i arrived early, and was getting in some knitting, when i suddenly found myself surrounded by a group of 20+ college (barely) female students, engulfing me in bubble gum, overwhelmingly fruity shampoo and hot pink plastic. wow. to be young and pink.

art history prof karen kleinfelder's energetic presentation and intimate knowledge of the work made the concerns and influences of the european avant-garde relevant to today. marcel du champ is one of my heros, and i've heard of many of the other artists discussed from the period, but the lecture really brought the different movements together and put it in the context of the time and place.

bleary-eyed by the end by the account of guernica the city and guernica the painting by picasso, i contemplated the effect of war on art and vice versa. i am disappointed already that i will be missing the next lecture, which will be on american modernism.

photo of my late father progress

photo of my late father
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

i've been itching to get into the trenches with this project, but have been distracted with show submitals, updating my portfolio and other projects. what little bit i squeezed in felt good. it's probably not good for my health, but i kinda like the smell of melting (or maybe it's burning) solder. i need a bigger jig though. i have one so that i can set up and solder three boards one after another. it feels like it is going faster soldering than with the previous method of pushing through and flattening out the pins on fabric. i feel like i need to be looked in a cell with this and get it done, but it really is a challenge to prioritize the time. it's too bad it's not portable like knitting...

mixed messages (warning: extreme negativity)

habu textiles
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

my feelings about this blog are mixed, and my direction, like everything else in my life, is unclear. (of course, that's not really saying a whole lot.) on the one hand, i feel the need to share my thoughts with whoever comes along and might care or get something from. on the other hand, do i really need to be opening my head up for scrutiny by anyone but a mental health professional and my poor boyfriend?

i began by documenting my work partly to motivate myself and partly to put down some thoughts. as if the internet were not enough distraction, now i feel the need to keep this updated. if i am doing this, there is a part of me that hopes someone is reading it. it's like art making. sure, artists want to have the freedom to do whatever the hell they want, but at the end of the day, we need someone to see it. we may make work in isolation, but to be complete, it's got to come around and be experienced.

moving on from neurotic rambling...i also received some mixed feedback about my portfolio. the person from the sculpture dept at sf art institute could see the progression of my work into sculpture, but thought i needed to frame my artist statement and portfolio in such a way that it takes into account the kinds of concerns that people working in sculpture have. i guess that means thinking/talking about the formal and material aspects of art making. he thought my presentation looked clean, which is good.

the person from the school of the art institute of chicago had a number of comments, including that perhaps i should reshoot or video my work to show more of the experience. he seemed to think that i had a lot to say in my artist statement that didn't come through in the work in the portfolio. not sure if that has to do with the execution or the presentation of the portfolio.

i'm glad i had the opportunity to get some feedback from people who could potentially be looking at my work during the admissions process, but it did feel a bit rushed, since i had about 15 mins, and then the aftermath to decipher what was said. i've made progress since a year ago, when said portfolio did not even exist. half of it remains as convincing renderings and boxes of leds. and once again, i'm faced with the need to really focus, and fight my many interests and distractions. where do i want my work to go? i have to decide and spend a good amount of time going there, and not off into a zillion other ideas. it's a difficult decision as there are too many good choices.

another thing that i need to do and that mike has pressed upon me is to cut back on extracurricular activities such as knitting & sewing. i stopped with the jewelry & woodworking. unless i can bring those things into the artmaking, i have to do less of it, in order to have more time for art.

.....

what a change--coming back from san francisco and fall weather to an arid and global warming climate. our black moor, moraes, died yesterday. that's what i get for anthropomorphising him with a character from one of my favorite books. he's been sick, and we've done everything we could. he was a fighter, but i guess that was not enough. poor guy.

rather than ending on a death note, there's this...after over a month of anxiously waiting, i finally get a call from wild fibers that my habu sweater kit #74 came in. yay! meanwhile, i've been adding a gazillion projects to my queue on ravelry that i may never have time to knit now that i'm cutting back on extracurriculars. a girl can dream...that's all i have, for now.

regen projects II

regen projects II
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

after dealing with technical difficulties with my printer whilst making prints for a show submission and dropping it off 30 min before closing, i went to see lari pittman's paintings at regen projects II this past friday. i like the squirting tomatoes.

she's come undone - close up

she's come undone
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

she's come undone, documentation

she's come undone
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

she's come undone, finis?

she's come undone
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

it's finished. at least for now. this is one possible form this could take, suggestive of handwriting. i'd like it to change with different spaces.

i had some problems photographing this. most of the power packs weren't working so i had to use hot lamps, which weren't making for the even lighting that i wanted. using the reflective umbrellas made the already almost too long to be handheld shutter speed longer. i had to take the overall photo from a ladder, so no tripod.

i'm initially a little disappointed with it's lack of fluidity, due to it being composed of squares instead of a continuous strip. if i had to do over, i would still stick with the sewn squares as the fragmented suturing is part of it. i will have to reshoot when the power packs are fixed. i know. a lot of excuses. i need more time to think about it.

she's come undone

she's come undone
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

satisfaction. almost. i finished sewing all the squares for this prototype which will be a piece on it's own about existence and beauty. the next hurdle is the form and installation. i have a clear idea and visualization of the sister to this piece, which comprises similar squares of my body from head to toe, and will spiral outward from ceiling to floor.

initially for this piece, i thought about a dress, but changed my mind as it's too recognizable an image. i have been thinking of a quote by chuang tzu which i'd like to incorporate and is shaping it's formal aspects, at least for the moment.

"Once upon a time, Chuang Tzu dreamed that he was a butterfly, a butterfly fluttering about, enjoying itself. It did not know that it was Chuang Tzu. Suddenly he awoke with a start and he was Chuang Tzu again. But he did not know whether he was Chuang Tzu who had dreamed that eh was a butterfly, or whether he was a butterfly dreaming that he was Chuang Tzu. Between Chuang Tzu and the butterfly there must be some distinction. This is what is called the transformation of things." -- Chuang Tzu

art: 21 Romance

the LACMA pre-screened the romance segment of the latest season (4) of art:21 art in the twenty-first century set to air on pbs beginning October 28. the series presents various contemporary artists talking about their work, and each segment organizes four artists around a theme. there is not the usual interview format or leading questions. instead we get a glimpse of the artist at work in his or her studio and speaking informally and generally about his or her work and process against the backdrop of the work.

although there were some initial technical difficulties with starting the dvd on the correct segment and then skipping the feature on Laurie Simmons, it was a special treat to watch on a large screen and then have one of the featured artists, painter Lari Pittman, answer questions afterwards. my only experience with Lari's work involved a few paintings in the Eden's Edge show at the Hammer Museum. i found the work to be youthful and contemporary with a bright color palette, so was surprised to find out that he has been around for some time. that seems true of most artists that are well known and makes sense, since it takes time to develop a body of work and a mastery of materials, which is evident in the work.

richly decorated and boldly graphic, Lari Pittman's paintings envelope you in a tableaux of crowded interiors often bisected by playful yet sinister objects suggesting violence. some work prominently feature cacti with sharp points, while others contain medieval instruments of war such as a sword or an axe. meaning shifts as recognizable objects are depicted in unexpected ways juxtaposed with other seemingly unrelated objects. there is a subtle sense of humor evident as Lari mentioned one painting in which a supernatural action appears to happen in the center of a floor that swirls and opens up to reveal a banal living room. i found it interesting that he was not aware that he was grouped in the romance theme and that he only learned of this when the film was completed. some of the artists in earlier segments of the series did not seem to fit very well with the assigned themes, but that is part of the problem with categorizing complex work.

Although Lari Pittman spoke generally about his work and left much to interpretation, he brought some context and background to his work that made it more decipherable. of note, the familiar and accented voice of edward goldman behind me made some interesting comments whilst asking the artist about the elusiveness of the messages in his paintings. for those who are not familiar, edward goldman has an all too brief segment on kcrw called art talk where he speaks insightfully and passionately about art and more around LA and beyond.


Lari Pittman's work is on exhibit at Regen Projects in LA through October 20. Not sure if i will have time to since i will be going out of town that last weekend, but my limited exposure has left me wanting.

slow dancing

slow dancing
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

after deciding it was silly to kill myself finishing up the latest project for a juried show deadline and better to take my time, i went with mike to the music center in downtown LA on the last night of the slow dancing installation.

David Michalek, a filmmaker, produced this series of 43 slow motion video portraits of dancers that are randomly played over four screens. each portrait stretches out 5 seconds of a dance movement captured by a high speed camera to about 10 mins. there is no sound other than that of the spectators milling about.

the experience was sort of a meditation on dance. one could see in detail the gestures of the bodies as they slowly jumped, turned and moved like they were under water. the way the fabric and hair moved in response to, with and sometimes against the body was fascinating.

we were there for a couple of hours, but were not able to see all of the 43 dancers. more information about the project is availble here.

photo of my late father, lights off

photo of my late father, lights off
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

this past week has been a mad rush to put together my portfolio and an artist statement for my gallery/portfolio class. mike, unarguably the best boyfriend ever, agreed to help with some 3d visualization of ongoing projects. they turned out great, which sets the bar for the actual piece, which i hope will look as good.

i can't say enough how this exercise in 3d visualization has not only motivated and inspired me to keep on keepin' on with the present work, but also with thoughts on lighting and photographing the work, which can be tricky when the work consists of light. i always have a vague image in my head of what the projects will look like, but to see a visualization of it matching with what is in my head is impressive, especially, when finished projects don't always match initial plans.

i also gave my artist statement a good working over. being a conglomeration of general statements of whys and descriptive project statements added on, it had become disjointed. editing produced a much stronger and improved version.

in the end (to mike's disappointment more than my own), i did not get to present and review it with the class due to the limited time. portfolio review will continue next week, so i will have to wait to get feedback. the extra time will allow me to get a proper portfolio box for the prints and additional edits to the statement.

the great picture show

the great picture show
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

drago, aviva's boyfriend, drove us to pasadena early to help with any last minute installation of the show. the great picture felt at home in the large gallery space. limiting the work to the large print, the lightline--an led installation which spanned the length of the large print--and the positive print kept the focus on the great picture.

to those uninitiated into (and some familiar with) the experience of a pinhole image, the great picture may appear to be an abstracted, painterly image of what was a runway and the control tower at the el toro marine base. a lot of work and thought went into the making of this, and every time i stand in front of it, i notice some new detail. pretty amazing to think about this one shot photograph. imagine all the planning, and you have one chance to get a good exposure.

most of the installation was all ready to go, so there was not a whole lot that we had to do, but it was nice to be able to see it in full light before the evening, when the lights were dimmed to give the experience of making the great picture.

the show brought a good turnout, with people wandering into the exhibit before the opening out of curiosity.

photologue here

i hate to bring any negativity to the event, but during the day, i left my purse out with all my other things, thinking it would be safe, as most of the people there were people who volunteered or were hired to help with setting up the show. i was shock to discover in the afternoon that about $100 was stolen from my purse. i'm not 100% sure that it was from that day. the last time i went out and used my purse was on mon night when mike & i tried to go to a movie. there were hardly any people in the theater, so i don't think the money was taken then. tues, i stayed home, and wed, i was at work all day. it is disheartening to think that someone at the gallery on thursday would do such a thing.

aside from that weird incident, the show was great. aviva surprised myself, drago & a couple bartenders towards the end of the evening when she flashed us while posing for a photograph in front of the great picture. a great end! ha!

photograph of my late father, enamel

photograph of my late father
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

i have begun to spray paint what will be the fronts of the boards where the leds will be visible. i don't think i've finished a third of the total, which is 6200, and already need to get more spray enamel.

photograph of my late father, a fresh start

photograph of my late father
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

the 7200 pcbs i ordered a month ago arrived last week. it's been a challenge and slow going to get momentum as the fear of failure looms ever present, but i am making a fresh start of it. 6200 will be used for photograph of my late father and the extra 1000 will go into the led suit i want to construct for a future project. that's right, i am going to make a suit out of leds. that won't even be the final piece. the final piece will consist of photographs of me dancing in the suit. fun, fun, fun.

meanwhile, i am continuing to edit and crop the photo squares that will become my heart, my mind, my soul... the number of photos is large, which will be great for the finished piece, but more time-consuming attempting to line things up and make sure i don't leave any part of my body out or duplicate. so far, i have cropped about 5600 squares, all of which, i will be hand sewing. more fun...

spinster

last tuesday, i took a hand spinning class with john pitblado at amano yarn in venice. i have tried (in my feeble and unsuccessful) way to not add any more hobbies/passions/distractions/money pits to my long list of already existing ones, but it's not like this is completely new. i did get an introduction at maker faire in 2006 to spinning using a couple cds, rubber washers, a dowel & hook. since the evolution of my new knitting life, i thought i would give it a go and hope that i not get too involved immediately. plus, how much roving could i go through? i am hand-spinning after all. as long as i don't even consider a big expensive, wheel, it should be fine?

it was a lot of fun, and relaxing in a get your groove, find your zen kind of way. i don't think i'll be doing a lot of spinning, but there's is definitely a certain magic that happens when the spindle sort of sucks the roving into the twist. if i could get to the point of spinning some yarn for socks, that would do me well.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

friday, mike & i caught the eden's edge show at ucla's hammer museum. if you haven't had a chance, you should check it out soon, as it is closing this weekend. the show consists of 15 LA artists whose work seems to embody the fractured and shifting LA experience. I liked most of the work, and thought it was well done. The theme wasn't something I am particularly passionate about, but among the things i observed were the skill and immersion the artists must possess in their chosen mediums.

i am envious, as i have not really felt immersed myself in any one medium and often wonder if that would help my work. i don't think one should feel limited by any particular medium, and i fear getting stuck doing a lot of the same work. after one makes a particular piece, why spend years doing variations on the same piece? on the difficult side, each new piece is an experiment and a learning experience. starting a piece wherein you don't know much about the materials can involve a lot of failures and frustration before you get close to what you are striving for. this is what i have learned about my big led project. oh, there have been other ideas for other led projects, but i have not gotten to those ideas because i am still trying to resolve this one. my ideas seem so much further ahead of where i am. maybe one never catches up, but it would be nice to have more knowledge/experience under my belt as i start my next piece...

moca la

moca la
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

questioning from a neurotic artist-crafter wannabe

summer, once again, has proven itself to be a difficult time for me to "work" on art . i have a collection of excuses - "oh, but i worked so hard for months", "i did finish a piece in may", "the lazy days of summer inspires, well, laziness", "so many interests, so little time"...i really don't have an excuse. after all, i am only working part-time so that i can spend more time on art. there really is never enough time...

ironically, my girlfriend aviva remarked recently, when i showed her what i had been working on, "wow, you're so productive"--maybe not in those exact words, but i was surprised that she thought i had been so busy. of course, i showed her my knitting & woodturning, which does not (at least for now) fall into the art category, so doesn't count. sure, i have some vague plans of incorporating those skills into an art project at some point (soon, i hope). everything i do and learn is stored away for some future project. that's my justification and official response to the critical voice in my head. ok, so perhaps there is something to mike's point that i am spending too much time looking at, buying and touching yarn. being obsessive can have it's benefits and detriments.

i do wonder about art vs. craft. the exhibition mike and i went to on friday at moca-- poetics of the handmade--is fodder for thought. what is the difference between art and craft? i love getting into the details, working with my hands, embracing the obsessive side of my nature, finding the internal logic, developing and perfecting the skills and working it. this can be an experience shared by both, though not necessarily required by art. does the distinction have to do with intentionality? this is the thought that enters my brain when someone asks what makes something art. i don't really like to put vague thoughts into words for fear that it detract from my making art. among other things, i hope that my work incorporates my belief that art is defined by the maker, and begins, at least for me, as a personal endeavor.

with regards to craft, there exists a relationship with function. it seems in the film, Craft in America (which by the way is awesome and amazing), craft is defined by being useful, although some of the featured artists made things that only had the appearance of utility. does it matter? obviously, i'm thinking about it. i like making things, useful AND otherwise. it's not that one is better than the other, but when time is limited, i often have to make decisions about which of the many things on my want to do list has higher priority. my attempt to manage time involves compartmentalizing things.

the artists in the poetics show have managed to bring craft to their art, and art to their craft. i have to say i loved most of the pieces, which included 2200 (turned and/or cast) tubes of varying shades of lipstick in finely crafted shapes, what appeared to be a somewhat languishing and rotting vegetable garden (not real but looked damn real down to wilty asparagus and tomato plants), brightly colored plasticine mooshed together and finely sculpted into swirly psychedelic imagery (the photos of another piece by the same artist of birds made from plasticine looked like a beautiful oil painting), an installation of mechanistic-human figures, flowers, butterflies being gobbled up and trampled by war-like machines spewing fumes--all cut from colorful currency--that would be money in laymen's terms, abstract minimalist architectural landscapes cut from paper, drypoint (a printmaking process) done delicately and with obsessive detail on aluminum foil, a fascinating sculpture made from toothpicks and plasticine...

even if the making of art is as elusive as defining it for myself, i am "experiencing" it plenty to be inspired. i boxed up version "1.5" of photo of my late father, but am now thinking about how i can recycle/turn it into some sort of sculpture. i also have an idea for the leftover plywood squares from my 28 days project.

she's come undone - close up

she's come undone
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

she's come undone

she's come undone
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

my latest piece, she's come undone, which originated from a photo shoot with a model arranged by jerry (instructor) for a class, and consists of squares of photographic images of a woman's skin on japanese paper sewn with transparent "thread", is coming along. i only had 15 min with the model (all that was allowed in the class setting), and there was some overlap in the photos, as it was my first time trying this idea, so i don't have a lot of photos to make up the squares.

this is a prelude to where my heart, my mind, my soul (, my body?*) touch. after working through and sketching out some ideas, i had mike help me take close up photos of the surface of my body from head to toes. since i'm liking how the tests are turning out, i will start editing and cropping the photos for the final piece, which will hopefully be approx. 6 ft. tall and spiral from ceiling to floor and include strings of lights on the inside.

*i'm still debating on whether to include this in the title as it is suggested in "my heart" which could have a double meaning - both feeling and physical

photo of my late father, update 2

photo of my late father
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

mike helped me prototype out how the pieces would look spray painted and wired together. i was unsure about the spacing around, but am liking that it is looking like individual pieces (pixels). I'm embracing the whole advent of the digital and it's affect on photography. i also like breaking up the integrity of the image / surface / body as i have done with other pieces.

i didn't want any electronics on the front where the leds would be to be distracting. mike modified the design of the board a little such that the resistors mount on the "back", and lights go through holes and mount on back, so that i could have that and save some money and order single layer boards. i ordered 7200 yesterday (an extra 1000 will be for another project i'm cooking up -- a suit of leds -- yes i may be a little insane).

photo of my late father, update 1

photo of my late father
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

the prototype boards came a couple weeks ago for my second go at this project.

you're the inspiration

yesterday marked the 2 yr anniversary of mike & i dating. we celebrated this past weekend by having a lovely breakfast on friday at starling diner. i had egg, bacon & cheese on a french baguette with some roasted potatoes, and mike had a decadent french toast (also made from a baguette) with candied apples, mascarpone & whipped cream. i really love this place, so cozy and cute.

on sat, we treated ourselves to the inspiring dan flavin retrospective at lacma, with the most interesting pieces exploring space, light, color & perception. when you enter the first gallery to see the first few pieces - mounted, painted canvases with various colored light bulbs attached, you may mistaken his work to be minimalist, but as you read the titles and experience more of the work, there's more than meets the eye. and you really can't believe your eyes, as light changes hue depending on where you are standing or where you just came from. the room (pictured above) appears green, but linger long enough, and it starts to look white, while the world outside turns a violet. one large room made up of smaller "cells" of lights installed in rows and columns was a kaleidescope of color. as you move, the colors mutate and mix. it's truly amazing to see what flavin has done with the simplest of materials -- fluorescent lights.

i am inspired and excited to experiment more with light. leds are as cheap as you can get, but when you use thousands of them, it can get pricey (as in my current piece).

after a brief visit to a gallery whose name eludes me, in culver city, to see deborah sussman's (mike's boss) work in a group show, we dined for the first time at frenchy's bistro. i always thought the name was rather silly every time i saw it driving by on anaheim, but some reviews on yelp made me consider giving it a taste.

after the escargots appetizer, mike had a baked salmon topped with crab meat in a lobster sauce, and i had seared sea scallops in a tomato-y sauce with wild rice and roasted tomatoes. we finished with a chocolate souffle. mike enjoyed his salmon, although not as much as i enjoyed my scallops, which i've never had with a tomato sauce. for the first time, i did not take home leftovers. it's better than la creperie, but not as good as ammo, which is still one of my favorites, but we will definitely be back (7 out of 10 stars). of course, i forgot my camera, so no food porn...

moving on & letting go

photo of my father
Originally uploaded by bluepupae.

it was not an easy decision to make, and i fought it every step of the way. that's the way it is with me. change is difficult, that's why i give myself these challenges.

so my led project that is to be a photograph of my father, has been progressing abysmally slow. i still cannot say that i am halfway through. i also am only 30% sure that it will even work. i tried to do a test "swatch", but that took a zillion years and only somewhat worked. impatient to get started, i improved on the design, and started the final piece. after several more months and thousands of woman hours, my confidence wavered. i wanted to have faith that it would work eventually, if i kept at it. persistence or stupidity, only time will tell. i thought about all the bad relationships i had continued to work at long after they should have ended. i didn't want to come to this realization after a few more thousand hours of work. so i started to think that there had to be a better way. that it was better to take the losses--the thousands of work hours and cost of materials--and start somewhat afresh with a new approach. it is time to let go and move on.

there are a number of problems i have noticed with the current "design." It won't be easy to store. when i fold it up, the fabric gets wrinkled, and led & resister pins and wiring gets tangled up (are these all different, but related problems?). if it is more modular, and can be taken apart, it will be easier to store. i really like the idea of using fabric. of softening the appearance and feeling of the leds & technology, but the fabric is not working. i started to think about modular boards with pairs of leds & resistors, and having the wiring be connected in columns or rows, and the whole piece held together along the edges with thicker wire, like on my other projects. this would make it easer to take apart, and should an led burn out or be wrong, it will be more efficient to replace.

i also thought it would be better to unload some of the menial labor onto someone else or to a machine. no one is paying me to do this, and i am not able to work, and get paid while i'm doing this. well, if i could get someone to produce the boards at a cost that is less than the woman hours it would take me to do it times how much i get paid making websites, well, it would be well worth it. i will still be doing all of the soldering and assembly (can't escape all the work).

my next steps are to get prototypes made to test out the boards, then have the final made. there is a new hope and belief that the new process will take less time and be more likely to work than if i continued the way i have been going. i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

weekend edition: part 2 photo series

my latest art piece -- these days ( not sure about the title, but haven't thought of something better ) -- made it into the irvine fine arts center's photo series show ( a southern california regional juried exhibition ). up from june 10 - july 14. the opening was on sun.

waking up at 7am to go to a woodturning class, even though once i'm there, i love it, leaves much to be desired. don't ask me why i signed up for an 8am, sunday morning, all day class. maybe it was the dream of making my own knitting needles, chopsticks and cool organic bowls or working with wood with a not so scary tool that could cut your fingers off or that it wouldn't require a tool that would take up a lot of space or maybe i wanted to try something more sculptural. i don't know how long i'll stick with it, but i've been itching to do something with less analytics and more feeling/intuition.

the day's assignment was to make matching candlestick holders from specs. i was getting so into smoothing down the wood, i screwed up from the start and went too far and didn't leave enough left for the square base. the second time around, i reached almost to the end when the spindle gouge slipped and chipped off a huge chunk of a ball. so annoying. i know i really should be more zen about it. i really do enjoy it. it reminds me a lot of ceramics, what with the rotation and all. with fast results, it can be satisfying and fun, but when you've spent some time trying to match some class assignment, it kinda sucks to have the whole thing screwed up at the end from one slightly off movement of your wrist. must find an art project for the leftovers, tests, & f-ups of art projects.

i left early to go home and shower and get ready to go to the show. aviva, who came with us, loved the show and bought two pieces. i was somewhat surprised and excited by the turnout, and received positive remarks about my piece. irvine fine arts center has good sized galleries. my work seems to be getting bigger. it's great to have a space that gives it some breathing room. the project was cramped in the last space - bc space gallery.

the brief awards ceremony ended with me placing 3rd. despite my plans for it to be a quick project, a good deal of labor went into it, so it was nice to know that other people will have some connection to it. the price tag is high compared to the other more traditional photo pieces, but i'm really ridiculously hoping that someone will buy it, since i have no idea how i will fit it into our storage space.

time away

you would think that without a full-time job, a person would be able to do all the things that she wanted to do and complained about not having the time. and yet, i still did not do most of the things i had hoped to, but i was able to focus on making art.

for months, i twisted led & resistor legs and wire. it was/is a long and gruelling process, and after i got about halfway through, i felt that my approach perhaps was not the best, but it had taken me so long to get to that point, i felt/feel compelled to finish rather than start over ( i can save that for another project ).


the process was very repetitive, but i was motivated and spent a lot of time on it. after a few months without progress, i gave myself another project or two that would have some more immediate results.

i discovered photobooth over the holidays, and decided to make something that was about "the moment" in picture-taking and the experience of not worrying about technical aspects but being in the moment. i captured images of myself with a digital video camera - one in the am & one in the pm using photobooth and a script that randomly picked an effect. with most of it automated, i let my body do what i thought would make for interesting images. i also selected and recorded from a list of adjectives a mood. I initially thought the images would be simply put up on a wall with plexi protecting them and arranged like a calendar, but as the project progressed, i decided on a less traditional presentation of a calendar, and that the images should be self-standing.

this project ( These Days ) turned out to be more involved than i initially had conceived, but i was able to finish by early May so that it would be in a show at BC space gallery. it is now set up at irvine fine arts center. opening is june 10.

at the same time, i also started a project involving squares of closeups of inches of a woman's body, and one that will have almost every inch of my own body. this is still in progress.

i was quite satisfied to have been able to complete a project in the time i alotted myself, since i am usually so terribly wrong in estimating how long something will take -- this happened with the neverending led project. after all the work and time put into These Days, i needed a break to do relaxing things.

body of evidence

Body of Evidence II


Body of Evidence I

i'm not sure if i'll stick with this title. it's what i thought up in 5 min. it's catchy but is it cliche? i suppose i could always change the name later.

these are deceptively simple-looking considering how much time and problem-solving went into making them. it's satisfying to see them up, working and looking so clean. there's a third piece that goes with this series that i need to tackle, and then i'm ready to throw myself into something new.